It’s coming up to the Easter holidays and that means that highers are soon and that means that I’ll have to be ready to take the exams soon – AGH. I am so scared about these exams but I’m doing my best, I’m working really hard when I can but I’m still not satisfied. I just need to work work work
In January I went for a weekend to Northern Ireland to see my cousins and Grandparents. For some reason the whole weekend was just a nostalgic, reflective dream – throughout the whole weekend I felt this verge-of-tears feeling as all of these memories just started coming back. There was something quite reverent about it too though, I really felt like I had to cherish each memory and savour it because they’re what my life is built from. I was remembering so many things: the excitement as we drove up the road to my Granda’s house; the smarties and milky buttons we would eat whilst reading our magazine that Granda had gotten us; riding in Granda’s wheelbarrow in the front yard; Granda marking our heights against the wooden post in the back garden… And that was just from coming home to my Granda’s house. I found all of these other memories tucked in between slices of bread fed to the ducks at the duck pond; or just sparked by other memories that had come before. I felt almost an anxiety to try and retain all of these precious memories – so, I decided to write them all down in my journal. There is nothing as satisfying as seeing little bubbles of your life down on paper.
A few weeks ago I got a Magnetic Poetry Kit which I thought would be great to use in times of writer’s block… I don’t really think it’s good to project your own voice through poetry but it’s so fun to get inspiration from and to just do for fun. The words are just there to take, there are no hours of agonizing over what word you mean but can’t seem to find…
This February break we went skiing and it was amazing. The snow was in perfect condition and the snowflakes were AWE-INSPIRING (as you can see from the photo they were so big and intricate and each one was unique and beautiful.) It was so peaceful going down the easier, more scenic trails; all you could hear was the swish of the skis on the powder. The views were cinematic. It was so cool to see the layers of frosty mountains seem to move as we traversed down the mountain ourselves. I took the entire time completely off and feel so much better now. Although, lately I’ve been feeling less inspired to write for myself – probably because before the holidays I didn’t have time to write and so when I was given time to make what I wanted of it, I couldn’t force the creativity to come. But I just loved living this holiday; I feel like I really savored the break and the beauty of the place I was at.
[this is kind of a pep talk for myself and other artists, writers who compare themselves to others]
So often I find myself looking at other people’s writing and poetry and artwork and think how I wished I could be so prolifically creative and deep. I get myself down when I think about how uninspired I often feel, about how much effort it sometimes takes to churn out words. But that is not what art is supposed to be. It shouldn’t make you feel guilty for not being as deep as you’d like to be; it should be celebrated and appreciated – it should inspire you to write, paint, create, think. But it shouldn’t be a means for you to compare yourself to someone else with a completely different artistic process to you. What they have to say with their art is just as important as what you have to say, you can still bring your unique voice about whatever issue even if it has been said before.
It’s almost impossible to be original but inevitable to be unique.
*fave song right now: Seedtime and Harvest by Joel Case